Saturday, May 12, 2012

Sweaty foot dollar

I don't care who you are. You do not pay people in bills that are soiled and warmed by your foot sweat.

Yes, you ran and the only place to put your money was in your shoe. That's no excuse. Don't run if you really need to buy a book afterwards or run home and get your money before you shop. If you're that hit up for time and you're comfortable enough to put cash in your shoes while you run, you're probably comfortable enough to wrap a paper towel around that cash, put it in a sandwich bag and putting that in your shoe.

A sweaty lady came into my place of work. She tells me, "My money's in my shoe."

"That's disgusting," I says.

No shame, no pause as she takes off her shoe and dumps out a stinky and wet $20. I grabbed 3-4 tissues and grabbed the bill, choking on her disgustingness and my own hatred for humanity.

Get that shit out of here.

I made a show of putting the $20 way at the bottom of my stack of 20s so that I wouldn't have to come in contact with it.

Later, some dickhead paid for a 90 cent postcard with a $100 bill. How did I create justice in a terminally unjust world? I dug to the bottom of my stack of 20s for the sweaty foot dollar and gave him that as part of his change.

Some dickhead. 

He didn't know it was a sweaty foot dollar. No big deal.

I practically took the skin off of my palms with anti-bacterial soap after he left.

Lessons: You don't deserve feet if you put your money in your shoe while you run.

You don't deserve unsoiled change if you pay for things (that can be paid for with coins) with a $100. You're just showing off that you're wealthier than me. I know you are. I work at the bookstore you're shopping at. That tells me everything I need to know about my class in comparison to yours. Get out of my face.

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