Friday, May 11, 2012

Niacin makes your face feel like Satan is fucking it

I took a B complex supplement this morning because it seemed like a cool thing to do. Here I am, some cool guy shopping at some cool and hip grocery store, being served by people with nose rings and neck tattoos, making me feel guilty for forgetting reusable bags, and buying Vitamin B complex supplements.

I take it this morning and 10 minutes later I feel a burning sensation on my face.

"Is my face red?"

"Your face is always red in the morning."

"Are you sure? It's really burning."

I don't know who the hell this guy is but when I searched "niacin flush" this was the only image that wasn't of some veiny body builder.

"Oh, yeah. It's really red."

If I could describe the exact hue of red it was it would be somewhere between the devil's asshole and his scrotum. So a tainty red.

I splashed water on my face to no avail.

Gradually the redness went away and my face stopped tingling but I think the B vitamins are doing their job because I am way more relaxed today than I was yesterday.

Niacin: your face will turn red and you will be miserable for a short period of time.

Pellagra: eat some Niacin so your legs don't fall off.

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