Sunday, April 8, 2012

Operation Offend Arizona: From the comments, Easter edition

Today we remember a glorious rabbit who was risen from the dead and laid hard boiled eggs for children all over the world.

Two anonymous comments. One challenged me to make a "From the comments post" on his comment that simply challenged me to do so.

I'd like to see you try to make a post off of this comment.
So here it is: Done.

The other, in its entirety:

The foul mouthness of this piece has offended me or has led me to believe that I have been offended. I can’t pin point where this is coming from. At first I blamed it on the vulgar language and excessive reference to dicks. My daily run in with shit for brain adolescents has taken the pleasure out of raunchy humor. Like the Arizona wall I try to prevent them from leaking their vulgarity out, but somehow their genetic make up allows them to be stealthy little fuckers…
This is a man who cannot make up his mind. Whether he has been offended or led to believe he was offended is something like a ping pong ball bouncing around in his head and he struggles to roll his eyes back far enough to watch it as it bounces. He can't pin point his anger but at first it was the vulgar language and penis talk. I'm willing to bet it's because he's rolling his eyes too far back into his head. I believe he is comparing me to an adolescent and he just can't find any humor in anything they might find funny. He prides himself on building a wall much like Arizona's wet dream to keep childrens' vulgarity from leaking out but somehow those stealthy little fuckers keep pissing on him.

The problem is that the Arizona government deserves nothing but vulgarity. Our goal is to offend them and offend them good. I heard their late night legislative sessions end in circle jerks. They fill up a milk carton and then drink it at the end of the month as a way to feed their inner demons. It's just what I heard.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio is too busy hiding swastika tattoos underneath his skin flaps to join in but he has been known to say that it sounds like a fine tradition.

Governor Jan Brewer, she's a nice person, signs her laws with screaming children before she sacrifices them to some Satanic deity.

The Dodgers have spring training in Arizona. My favorite baseball team in a state that is intent on arresting all of them and asking for birth certificates. Such a goddamn shame.

Sorry Strawberry. 

Happy Easter!

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