Sunday, March 25, 2012

Dick Cheney will live forever

For a while there, Dick Cheney had a heart powered by love and rainbows.

Ha, just kidding. He had a cold, circuit based pace maker for a heart and no pulse. That guy was a vampire. That guy was a cyborg. He's like the man who will never die.

He got a new heart. A human heart. He was on the waiting list for some time because he had to find the right 12 year old to sacrifice in a Satanic ritual.

If I were soulless enough to get a 12 year old's heart, I'd be eating like shit every day knowing I could just press reset and get Satan to refill me.

There is no point to this post other than to point out that when we read high school history textbooks in twenty years, they will be forty years old and make no mention of the George W. Bush presidency or his zombie VP.

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