Thursday, July 26, 2012

Smoking Ordinance Crusader

I was outside enjoying a cigarette, well over 15 feet away from the Whole Foods entrance because I have respect for people who do not wish smoke to be near them, when some Billy No Fun came up to me and said, "You have to be 50 feet away from a building to smoke." 

Don't bogart me, dude.

The width of 6th street isn't even 50 feet and I would never be 50 feet away from any building. I knew this was bogus, this was just some baseball cap wearing 50 year old hall monitor who wanted to exercise his freedom to say dumb things. I was on a public sidewalk, avoiding people enjoying their meals and definitely more than 50 feet away from any building entrance.

But like a jackass, I put my head down and walked away. I knew he'd harangue me if I argued and I was smoking for stress-cessation. I wasn't going to get on his case for not minding his own business. 

The smoking ordinance in Austin is you have to be 15 feet away from a building entrance in order to smoke. You don't have to stand around in oncoming traffic just to enjoy tobacco. 

The guy didn't even work at Whole Foods. Just some vigilante. We don't need any more Batmen, sir. 

No shit, Batman. 

In other fun things, donate to Bank Heavy Press. They are a small press in Long Beach, CA and they have been pumping out consistently awesome work since their inception. They are funky and not afraid to be goofy. Lord knows literary scenes need some healthy dosages of goofiness and Long Beach, in particular, is a literary city that hugs weirdness. I'm not talking about experimental pseudo-intellectualism either. That's just plain goofy. Seriously, kick a few bucks to Bank Heavy.

Next on the "other fun things" list, I'm reading a new story currently titled, "The Bus Driver" at Foxing Quarterly's Reading and Book Swap. Foxing Quarterly is a brand new literary mag in Austin, TX and the last reading I did for them was a blast. Plenty of great readers will be there, plenty of great musicians will be there, plenty of great beards will be there. 

Last on the "other fun things" roll of paper, I sold out of my first printing of my chapbook, At the Thrift Store. A fresh batch of them are now in my hands though and ready to fly. So BUY it! Click anywhere on these last two sentences to buy it.  Cover art was drawn by Austin local Flippo and some interior art was done by one of my best friends, Jack Arambula in California. 

Speaking of California Jack, he and I collaborated on my Frankenstein 2010 series available as an ebook on Amazon. Click here to check it out and purchase. If you're an Amazon Prime member, it's free.

P.S. Here's my latest at the Austinist.


  1. Perhaps the solution would be to enact a law that makes it illegal to smoke within 50' of buildings, traffic, and 50 somethings in ball caps.

  2. Perhaps we should enact a law that makes it so people, obviously worried about the effects of second hand smoke, should not approach someone smoking to tell them lies.

  3. Thank you for at least you respect other people's right not to smoke (directly or indirectly) unlike others.