Monday, August 13, 2012

A plea to NPR

Dear NPR,

Please stop using audio of honking horns when introducing the city your story takes place in.

Considering most of your audience listens to NPR during commutes, this needlessly startles them into reaching for their middle finger and directing toward everyone behind and around them.

Get this man a double cheeseburger.

I hate the sound of honking horns. Most people use horns to say, "Hurry up," or, "Fuck you." Horns should only be used to say, "Holy shit, man, you're going to kill me or somebody else so please stop what you're doing and do something else." That is the only real reason to use a horn. The only other reason is if the driver in front of you is obviously asleep at the wheel and won't move at a light that just turned green. Allow a grace period before you give the love-tap horn. Don't lay in on it. You become the asshole.

There is another reason. If someone has a sign that says, "Honk if you hate when people honk their horn," fucking honk.

NPR, I hate horns. They stress me out. Every city on the planet has people who honk their horns. Rather than introducing a "bustling city" with the sound of their traffic, why not just introduce it with audio from a cafe or a bar or somewhere else where humans actually converse. Or just play the shitty polka-rap-world music you play in between every story you air. Nobody would know the difference.

Thank you.

Check out Mr. Hara-San's latest here.

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