Thursday, October 11, 2012

Paul Ryan's thoughts

Fuck you, bro. I forgot my towel. YOU wipe it down.

Give me some pumping space, dog. 

Are you taking a picture? Fuck you, bro. I'm just sitting here trying to look cool.

You don't like this red hat? Fuck you, the guy who spots me doesn't like my blue hat.

Hell yeah, I wear Saucony. What do you wear? Huaraches? Please. 

I like cross fit. I hate fat, ugly, horrendous, poor people. Fuck you.

For every Ayn Rand, there's a male spotter telling her to breathe. Fuck you, dumbshit.

Let me tell you about the Mitt Romney I know. This is a guy who believes he will be God of his own planet some day. 

When I'm not posing for Time Magazine, I'm in my lifted truck wearing Tapout t-shirts, drinking Monster, and calling women bitches while I drive. FUCK YEAH.

Do you listen to Nickelback? No? You don't know what you're missing. 

I hang out with guys with big muscles and when my wife asks me where I've been all night, I ignore her and drink another beer and tell her to shut the hell up and rub my feet. 

I come from Wisconsin and I like cheese and I like when my bros don't point out that I'm actually lactose intolerant. Obama and his death panel squads won't recognize it for the life altering bullshit that that is. 

My eyebrows are thick.

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