Movies you don't want to see reviewed by somebody who didn't see them: THE COLD LIGHT OF DUMB EDITION

The Cold Light of Day. I clicked on that title on RottenTomatoes.com because I thought I was going to find some sepia tinted movie poster with Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz embracing each other but looking away in the foreground of a desert scene.

No, instead I got some weird blue poster with Bruce Willis not in the center.

The Cold Light of Day is one of those movies that Willis nor his agent read the script for. They saw the title, thought, "Must be French," and signed on immediately. He hung out in Quebec for a few weeks to bone up on some French phrases and headed to the shoot. When he landed in Toronto to film a movie that takes place in Philadelphia, he was surprised to see how heavily armed the actors were. It was at that point he realized he should have at least skimmed the script.

I'm not doing that fucking line. No way. 

"Another fucking Die Hard rip off, eh?" Bruce Willis said to himself. "Fine, I'll do it. But I won't be happy about it."

Off he went, shooting things, kissing things, fucking things, and making the highest budget porn movie that Hollywood ever did green light.

It's not terrible. Every now and then Bruce Willis looks penetratingly into the camera and it gets real awkward for everyone in the theater but as soon as that gaze is over, the camera nearly always cuts to somebody's ankles and they trip and fall - lightens the mood.

I don't know. You should see it if you want to but nobody's forcing you to. It's a weird flick and Toronto looks nothing like Philadelphia and I've never been to either city though I am well acquainted with Hollywood studio representations of both.