Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Ode to Kronung

Kronung coffee. The coffee of the gods if gods needed coffee.

One pillar, one commandment, one New Age-y rock of meditation: KRONUNG is for all.

Kronung helps me deal with the pain of learning that RedBox rentals are no longer merely a dollar a day but a dollar and thirty cents a day. It helps me deal with the feelings of insufficiency when I realize that fucking DVD has been in my car for five days. It helps me deal with feelings of rage when I can't do math and figure out exactly how much is going to come out of my checking account when I finally do return that DVD. It helps me deal with myself when I want to stab my eyes out because the movie I rented was, not that I expected it to be good, terrible beyond belief. Why did I choose RedBox? The RedBox selection is like asking your idiot friend who thought Transformers 2 was the height of Western cinema what movies he's excited about watching. 

I have Netflix. What the hell is my deal?

I have Vulcan Video, staffed by knowledgeable geeks who mask their hatred of you in ways that make you think they actually like you. Why did I turn to RedBox?

Kronung. It gets me through these questions.

On a related note:

A new Cheesin' is up on Out of the Gutter Online. Click here to read it

And "Droning" is up at the New Verse News. Read it here. 

1 comment:

  1. Peace, my friend. :) If it's any consolation, we have to pay for additional days when we leave the DVD in our cars, too.

    If there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to email me direct.

    p.s. Go easy on your idiot friend. We all have one, and he's usually the reliable one you can call when you need to bum a ride.

    At your service,
    Micheal E. Rubin
    Redbox Sr. Manager, Social Media