The worst part of Rick Perry's State of the State Address

Particularly.

Granted, particularly is a particularly hard word to say clearly. It's much harder than nuclear.

Rick Perry says particularly like his tongue had just spent five hours licking cocaine out of a coyote's asshole.

He said something about the rainy day fund and using funds to fix Texas' water situation. That was good.

He said something about education funding.

He said something about how Texas doesn't fund art at all but it's thriving. Which is true on both points. Not lying there.

But, dammit, he said particularly in a particularly peculiar manner and I just couldn't hear anything else.

Wichita Falls, Texas

Wichita Falls, Texas is one of those cities that is famous for being referred to as the "big city" in King of the Hill.

Wichita Falls doesn't feel as humid as San Antonio or Austin but it was a weird feeling walking around a cemetery and having grasshoppers fly into me. That hasn't happened before. Black crickets, yes. Cockroaches, it's happened. Grasshoppers are big and I haven't even seen one outside of a Disney movie that goes by the name of Pinocchio. They are exotic and no fun.

Speaking of the Wichita Falls cemetery, I stumbled upon this awesome gravestone:

I haven't seen anything like that before in my life and now my dream is to have a gravestone as cutting as that. It's like you can feel the curse the Curron family laid upon the coward who shot him in the back. 

I don't know what mine would say.

Killed in Austin, hit with a beer bottle and a used syringe by the homeless person under 35 and 6th

Mowed down in Austin, run over by a smart car by a hiking sandals wearing rich hippie

Ate an under cooked piece of tofu, prepared by the hands of a coward

A bat shit in his mouth

I'm never going to die though. This was a pointless exercise.